


Don't need to know your name.

by Septic84



Series: Random one shots [7]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe Dan and Phil, Dan Howell Is Not A YouTuber, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Phil Lester Is Not A YouTuber, shy boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:13:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27844282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Septic84/pseuds/Septic84
Summary: A Thursday tradition changes much to Phil's surprise and it leads to wonderful things down the road.
Relationships: Dan Howell & Phil Lester, Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: Random one shots [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1568485
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	Don't need to know your name.

“Number 62?” Phil had been coming to the same sandwich shop every Thursday at 1:30 Pm for the last year; it was a block away from his office, and he was given an hour lunch on Thursdays. It was decently priced and excellent food; it was his weekly treat to himself. “Thanks,” He smiled and went to sit where he always did, the table furthest from the exit, by the largest window in the shop, however when he approached he saw someone else had already taken the seat. Sighing to himself, he veered off to the table just before it.  
In between bites, Phil glanced up as conspicuously as he could at the man in his seat. He wore a black beanie, had a septum piercing and a full sleeve of tattoos, but the most noticeable thing about him was the dimple on the left side of his face, which was until he looked up. The boy’s eye briefly met Phil’s, then clearly flustered, he turned away. Phil smirked to himself; the boy was incredibly young and clearly had caught Phil checking him out. “Can you blame me; did you see those eyes?” He thought to himself. He finished his lunch and left with a smug smile on his face.

“Number 17?” Today Phil was in an unusually crabby mood. His clients were in a right state. Phil blamed the full moon. Making his way to his typical table, he saw Beanie guy once again sitting in his spot. Yeah, the boy was cute, but it was very irritating that he once again was in the place Phil loved. Sitting down, he ate his sandwich, really lost in his own world of grumpiness. Today just wasn’t his day, he thought about calling it a day after lunch, but he knew that would only increase his workload for the following day. Crumpling the wrapper, he glanced towards the boy, who he once again caught staring at him. As he had before, the boy’s eyes almost violently snapped from Phil towards the window. “No, that’s not obvious, not at all,” he thought, smiling to himself. 

“Number 81?” Today Phil hoped that Beanie guy was in his seat; his shyness was amusing. He was not disappointed; Beanie guy was on his phone and did not notice Phil at all.  
“No, that’s not what I am trying to say,” Phil did his best not to eavesdrop, but it was hardly a reasonable ask; he was three feet away. “Fine, right. Bye,”  
Phil made a point not to meet his eyes. He was clearly upset, and Phil felt terrible about trying to fluster him today. Instead, he focused on his sandwich, eating slowly. When he was finished, he glanced up, but Beanie guy was staring out the window. He looked sad. They didn’t make eye contact, but Phil hoped that he could feel the sympathy he was trying to send his way via mind vibes. 

“Number 23?” It was starting to get colder now. Phil had to wear his jacket, and he knew the leaves would be falling soon enough. Making his way to his new spot, the familiar Beanie guy was now in a large, oversized hoodie as well. This time, Phil met his eyes before he sat down and smiled; the smile was return, but the boy’s face turned red, and he looked out the window again as quickly as he could.  
Phil almost wanted to say something to him, perhaps just hello, but he hesitated for some reason. He would hate to make the boy feel uncomfortable, and yet they clearly had a connection. As he contemplated it, concentrating on his food, he didn’t notice Beanie guy leaving. Shaking his head to himself, he left regretting not at least saying hello.

“Number 5?” It was a dreadful day, it was cold and rainy, the wind was blowing, and hence Phil was wet and cold. He ordered a coffee today with his sandwich. Making his way towards the back, he smiled as he approached and saw Beanie boy. He had told himself the whole way here that he would say hello, but when the time came, he froze and just gave a little wave, a wave that was returned with a smirk, blush, and eye-roll from Beanie guy. Phil didn’t need a mirror to know his cheeks were flushing, embarrassed; he ate without raising his head and left without saying hello.

“Number 59?” Phil was looking forward to seeing Beanie guy today. It had been a rough day. As he made his way towards the back, he noticed his original table was open, no Beanie guy. Sitting down and looking out the window, Phil tried to ignore the stab of disappointment he felt and ate.  
“You’re in my spot,” Phil jumped and looked up to meet those beautiful brown eyes. He swallowed quickly, “In all fairness, it was mine first,”  
“Was it now?”  
Phil nodded as an awkward silence hung in the air. “Ah, do you want to sit?”  
Beanie boy sat down, hands in his pockets, not saying anything. “You’re not going to make this easy, are you?” Beanie guy shrugged. Phil smirked, “Have it your way,” They sat quietly as Phil finished his lunch, he knew he needed to get back to the office, but he was waiting until the absolute last moment he could before leaving. He stood up,  
“See you next week,” Beanie guy said, not making eye contact.  
“See you,”

The following Thursday, Phil couldn’t go to work due to a migraine punishing him since the day prior. In the few lucid moments Phil had, he felt slightly guilty, leaving Beanie guy hanging. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much he could do. He could barely make it to the bathroom. He hoped that he could explain next week, but for now, Beanie guy would have to fend for himself.

“Number 74?” Phil had taken the rest of the day off. He wanted to make sure if Beanie guy were there, he could have a chance to explain. He took extra time gathering extra napkins, trying to pump himself up to talk to him. Glancing, he saw Beanie guy staring out of the window. Boldly, he went straight to the table and sat down.  
“He returns,”  
“I do.”  
“I thought maybe you had changed your lunch venue,”  
“No. I wasn’t able to leave my house last week, so no lunch.”  
“Right,”  
Phil finished eating his lunch in silence; Beanie guy didn’t say anything else. Self-consciously, Phil started to wonder if he had inserted himself into this guy’s life without invitation. He didn’t have to go back to work, but he also didn’t feel right staying. He stood and picked up his wrapper,  
“Next week?”  
“If I can leave my house, I’ll be here.”  
“Until then,”

Phil nervously chewed on his lip, looking through the window seeing Beanie boy’s side profile. Was this weird? It felt like it was getting weird. He hadn’t introduced himself. However, neither had Beanie guy. Taking a deep breath, he pulled open the door. It was weird, but it was also exhilarating.  
“Number 7?”  
As Phil approached the table, he noticed that Beanie guy’s left eye was black. The bruise expanded down his face and onto his nose. Phil winced in sympathy as he sat down; he imagined that must hurt like hell.  
“It’s supposed to snow today,” Beanie boy said.  
“Is it? That’s great! I love snow,” Phil saw him smile slightly as he turned his head to look out of the window. Phil guessed that was going to be the extent of their conversation for that day. As much as he tried not to, he kept glancing up at the bruises, he knew it wasn’t his place to ask, but he wondered. He wanted to make sure that there wasn’t anything he could do, but it didn’t seem appropriate to pry.  
“Stop staring at me,” he said, causing Phil to jump,  
“Never seemed to bother you before,” Phil said, surprising even himself. Beanie guy snorted in response. “See you next week,” Phil said as he got up and left. This time as he left, he looked back towards the window and caught Beanie guy starting. He smiled, met his eyes, and turned away.

As much as Phil hated to admit it, the cat and mouse game was becoming the highlight of his week, well of every week, really. It was snowing today, and it was cold. He still trudged through the snow to the familiar door. “Number 56?” Phil had gotten two coffee’s this time with his sandwich. He sat down at the table. The bruises were now turning to a yellowish-brown. He slid the other coffee towards the other side of the table. Beanie boy was trying to stop a smile.  
“I love the snow,” Phil said simply.  
“It certainly is peaceful,”  
“And beautiful,”  
That was the conversation for that day, but it wasn’t unusual. The silences were no longer awkward. In fact, Phil had never felt more comfortable sitting quietly in someone else’s company than he did now. He didn’t want to force anything or change this, but idly he wondered if they would ever change names. Gathering up his wrapper and putting his coat on, Phil nodded to Beanie boy as a good-bye.  
“Thanks for the coffee,”  
“You’re welcome,”

The following week was Thanksgiving, Phil was with his family and was happy, but he couldn’t deny that he was missing the sandwich shop. Well, not exactly the shop itself,  
“Where are you, mate?” his brother interrupted his thoughts.  
“Sorry, lost in thought,”  
“So, what’s his name?”  
“What, who?”  
“The guy you are clearly thinking about, idiot.”  
“I don’t know his name,”  
“Why not?”  
Phil shrugged, “It’s never been necessary, really.”  
“Huh,”  
“How’s work?” Phil didn’t want to have to explain. He didn’t want to break its magic. He smiled to himself, hoping that Beanie guy was happy and full.  
As Phil got ready to order, the cashier stopped him, “I was told to tell you just to go to the table,”  
“Oh,” Phil went back to the table; there was his lunch, the exact thing he always ordered and a coffee.  
“Most of the snow melted, I see,” Beanie boy motioned for him to sit and eat the sandwich.  
“Hopefully, we will get more soon,” The bruises on his face had almost entirely faded save a slight darkening underneath his eye. As they sat, Phil noticed that Beanie boy had slightly pressed his leg to his. Phil swallowed but said nothing, trying to control the increase in his heart rate. It bewildered him that this small interaction had such an effect on him. As he ate the last bite of his lunch, he felt Beanie carefully pull back his leg.  
“Thanks for lunch,” Phil said as he left. Beanie guy just nodded in response. 

“Number 37?”  
Phil ordered Beanie guy a coffee again; he didn’t know what the guy ate, as he had never done so when Phil was around. Phil sat and slid the coffee towards him.  
“Thanks,” he said softly, looking down at the cup that was now in his hand and nowhere else. Phil was instantly concerned; he could feel that something was off.  
“Hey, are you okay?”  
“Why wouldn’t I be?”  
Phil met his eyes for a few moments, and before Beanie boy turned away, his eyes were puffy, his nose was red. Beanie boy had been crying, and Phil felt his heart constrict in the least pleasant way it ever had. Clearly, he was not up for conversation, so Phil extended his knee, pressing it into Beanie boy’s softly. He found it hard to eat and only finished a small part of his sandwich.  
“Not hungry?”  
“Not really,”  
Phil had to go, he really didn’t want to, but it was time. He gathered up his garbage and got ready to leave.  
“See you next week,” Beanie boy’s voice was strained.  
“Take care of yourself,”  
Phil reluctantly walked away, saying a silent prayer to any force or deity that may be listening to make Beanie boy happy.

“Number 22?”  
Phil was late. He was held over in a meeting and couldn’t leave until 2:15 for his lunch; he was overly anxious; he wanted to see Beanie guy and make sure he was okay. Not that Phil knew what he was going to do, or what he could with their limited conversation, but he felt like maybe he made a difference. He wasn’t sure.  
“Hey,” Phil greeted, sitting down.  
“You’re late,” he said nonchalantly.  
“Yeah, long meeting,” Phil started to eat the sandwich; Beanie seemed to be better today.  
“That’s shit,”  
“Yeah, I’m starving.” As he took another bite, he felt a leg against his and let out a contented sigh inadvertently. He really hoped it wasn’t audible. Phil felt so much in the silences they shared; they had a connection that he wouldn’t ever be able to explain.  
“See you next week,” Beanie guy got up this time and left first; Phil watched him go through the window and smiled back when he turned around to check. His heart was full. 

“Phil, come on, it’s Friday, there’s a band, and I haven’t seen you in forever,” Phil’s best friend, Alex, had called him at the end of his workday, begging him to come out.  
“Al, I really don’t like bars, you know that.”  
“Well, could you please just do this for me? I want to go. I want to see the band, but not alone. Please?”  
“I really am not feeling up to that,”  
“Please?”  
“Come on, Alex,”  
“This is your fault; you’ve forced me into it. I am invoking the pact, Phil.” Three years ago, they had come to an agreement that if something were significant and the other wasn’t feeling it, the other could call upon the pact, the “bestie’s pact.” Granted, they were two bottles of Moscato in, but it was something that had stuck.  
“Damn wine, fine. When?”

It was too hot, too loud, and there were too many people; these were all reasons that Phil hated bars.  
“Thank you, thank you, thank you.” Alex kissed him on the cheek. She looked good; she was in a low-cut red dress, her hair was perfect.  
“Here for a reason, hm?”  
“Fuck off, Phil,” she said playfully as she fluffed her hair. “Let’s get drinks and get close to the stage; they start soon!” Pushing their way through the sea of people to get to the bar, then to the stage, Phil found himself wishing he could be anywhere but here. Soon enough, the lights dimmed, and he heard the start of drums and the whine of an electric guitar. It wasn’t bad. It just wasn’t Phil’s forte. As he glanced up, he saw the guitar player’s arm. He swallowed; that sleeve looked familiar. As his eyes traveled up, he saw the dimples; first, his eyes were closed as he played. Phil’s mouth went dry when he realized that Beanie guy wasn’t wearing a beanie at all, and his head was a mess of brown curls.  
“Cute, right?” Alex yelled into his ear, Phil could only nod, and when brown eyes met blue, the smiled that crossed Beanie guy’s face made Phil swoon. Beanie guy was in a band, a rock band, and he was talented, he was outstanding. Phil found himself having a great time. Beanie guy nodded and smirked at Phil when the show ended and left the stage.

Phil sat at the bar, “Looked like you were having fun!” Alex said as she handed him another drink.  
“I did, thanks,”  
“You’re welcome; now, if you’ll excuse me, I have someone to meet.”  
“Text me when you get home, Al.”  
“Don’t wait up,” she winked and made her way across the bar, leaving Phil sat alone. His mind was racing. The excitement of having an inside look into Beanie guy’s life made him smile to himself. Someone sat next to him; he didn’t pay much attention until he felt a leg press into his. He looked over. Beanie boy’s curls were plastered to his forehead with sweat, but his smile was awe-striking.  
“Hey,”  
“Wow,” was all Phil choked out. Beanie boy laughed.  
“Looks like you’re having fun,” Beanie boy yelled over the crowd. “Where’s your girlfriend?”  
Now it was Phil’s turn to laugh, “You really think that someone looking like that would be my girlfriend?” Clearly, she is way out of my league.”  
“Not that I see,”  
“No, she’s not my girlfriend. In fact, she’s ditched me.”  
“Oh, her loss,” Beanie boy finished his drink. “Do you go out often?”  
“No. This isn’t really my scene.”  
“No offensive, but I can totally tell,”  
Phil smiled; this was the most extended conversation they had ever had. “I only came because my friend begged me, but now, I can’t say I am sorry,”  
Beanie boy flushed, “Neither am I.” He stood up, “Hey, let’s go somewhere quieter,”  
Phil nodded, following him into a back room where a few other band members and various instruments were gathered.  
“We’re leaving, you good?” the lead singer asked.  
“Yeah,”  
“See you, mate.”  
They were now alone, and Phil couldn’t control the increase of his heart rate. He could hear the music’s bass in the bar muffled by the walls, but he could hear his pounding heart more.  
“Breathe, Blue.”  
Phil, look up at him, confused, “Is that code for something?”  
Beanie boy threw his head back and laughed, “No,” he slowly walked towards him. “Are you good?”  
“Yeah,” Phil whispered, “God, you’re prettier up close,”  
“Wow, very forward,”  
Phil smirked, “My courage comes from the liquor, I swear.”  
“I don’t know about that. You were the one that toyed with me,”  
“Thought you were so shy; I was shocked to see you on a stage.”  
“I am, being on stage, that’s different,”  
“How?”  
Beanie guy came closer, “just is,” Phil watched him lick his lips, “Like this, no window to look out to avoid each other,”  
“Ah,”  
“You drive me crazy, Blue. I hardly know you, but you make me feel like I’ve known you my whole life. You spark intrigue in me; you irritate me, you baffle me.” He cradled Phil’s cheek, “I’ve wanted to kiss you since like our second date.”  
“Date?”  
“Isn’t that what we were doing?”  
Phil smiled, “I suppose it was,”  
“Can I?”  
Phil didn’t hesitate. They met in the middle, tongues and teeth clashing. Beanie guy pushing him into the wall deepening the kiss. Phil didn’t know if it was the alcohol or the mouth on his, but he felt as if he were floating. A low moan caught in his throat as he felt hands traveling up his shirt, leaning more forcefully against the wall to support himself.  
Beanie boy stopped and pulled away, his lips were plump, and his face was flushed so much it was creeping down onto his neck. “Wow, I never imagined it would be like that,” Phil panted, nodding in response. “So, you want to get out of here?”  
“I,” Phil didn’t want this just to be a hook-up. The feelings he felt we so strong that he didn’t want to wake up and have to do the walk of shame. “I really should go,”  
Beanie guy’s face fell, “I’m sorry, was that too much?”  
“No,” Phil rushed out, “I am just not feeling up to, ah, I’m tired.”  
“Okay,” he looked at the flow, clearly embarrassed.  
“See you,” Phil all but ran out of the door but not before he heard, “Bye, Blue,”

It was Thursday, and Phil didn’t know if he wanted to go to lunch. He had had a lot of time to think and was afraid that he had misunderstood Beanie guys flirting. Phil wasn’t interested in a hook-up, no matter how much he was sure he would enjoy it. It was confusing to Phil. The feelings he had were so intense and only based on two or three sentenced meetings and one make-out session. Phil didn’t go, he felt somewhat guilty, but he figured it was for the best.

The next Thursday was right before Christmas and his two-week vacation, Phil decided he should go see if Beanie boy was there and explain. As he glanced into the window, he noticed their table was empty. Sighing to himself, he waited in line.  
“Oh, hey,” the cashier greeted, “Here, this was left for you.” She handed him an envelope that was addressed to “Blue.” Phil got his lunch, sat down, and stared at it. He wasn’t ready for this to end, and he was sure that’s what this was, a good-bye note. “Time to rip off the plaster,” He thought to himself, and he opened the letter.  
“Blue,  
I don’t know what happened, but you weren’t here last week; I hope that’s not my fault, but if it Is, I get it. I have another show tonight at the same place if you want to talk.  
It would make me really happy if you came.  
See you later, (I hope)  
-The guy who stole your table,”  
Phil shook his head, pocketing the letter. Blue, that’s what Beanie guy called him. He laughed despite himself. Whether it was a good idea or not, Phil knew he’d be at that show. He was going to go alone. He didn’t want to explain any of this to Alex, at least not yet.  
It was still too loud, too hot, and too crowded, but Phil made his way to the bar. He sat at the bar and ordered a drink; he wasn’t sure if he wanted to go through with this, so he wanted an easy escape. The lights dimmed, and the music started. Beanie guy, the aka “table thief,” wasn’t as excited as before. In fact, he seemed sad. Guilt suddenly flooded in; Phil knew this was his fault.  
He could tell that Beanie guy was looking for him. His eyes scanned the groups of people over and over again; the music stopped; Phil slammed the rest of his drink and walked to the room where they had last been together. Was he allowed to be here? He didn’t know, but frankly, he didn’t care. He leaned against the wall next to the door. He would just wait here.  
Someone passed him in the hall, smiled at him, and went into the room, leaving the door open.  
“Howell, snap out of it,”  
“Fuck you. He didn’t show,”  
“You sure about that?”  
Phil walked to the doorway, looking up at him; their eyes met, and Phil saw relief.  
“I was just leaving,” the other person left the room, motioning for Phil to enter.  
“Hey,”  
“I thought you weren’t going to come,”  
“I wasn’t sure I would,”  
Beanie guy looked to the floor, vulnerably. “Can I show you something?”  
“Yes,” He took Phil’s hands and led him to a back stairwell. As they climbed, Phil had an uneasy feeling in his stomach. Where were they going?  
“Let me just get my key out,” releasing Phil’s hand, and he unlocked the door. “Come on in,”  
“You live above the bar?”  
He nodded, “I know that things are strained,” he paused, taking a deep breath, “but I really want to show you something. If you don’t like it, or it’s too strange, you can leave. You don’t even need to explain.” He sat down at a keyboard in the corner of the room, took another deep breath, and handed Phil sheets of paper. “I wanted you to know. I wanted to show you,”  
He started to play beautiful notes. When Phil looked at the paper, there were single sentences and words. Some underlined, some crossed out, but next to them were bars of music.  
“He smirked at me,”  
“He was looking for me,”  
“His eyes are so blue,  
“Blue, so blue.”  
“I stole his table,”  
“Coffee,”  
“He didn’t ask about my eye,”  
“Snow,”  
As the notes continued, he read along, feeling the words and the music.  
“He didn’t push it when I didn’t want to talk about it,”  
“When we touched, it felt like shooting stars,”  
“He touched me first this time,”  
The notes started to a crescendo, and the playing because more forceful.  
“He kissed me; I never knew that kissing could feel like that. He was so scared; I was too. It was like I was flying high above the clouds as if I had touched angles,”  
The music dwindled into slower, sadder notes, and the final words were:  
“He ran,”  
“I didn’t see my happiness today,”  
“I miss you, Blue,”  
“I’m so fucking sorry,”  
Beanie boy glanced up at him, pressing the last of the keys to complete the song.  
Phil hadn’t noticed he was crying until now; his hands shook as he clung to the paper.  
Beanie guy stood up. “Blue, I know last time we got carried away, and I am sorry that I was so blunt, but I’ve really missed you. I missed feeling like I was normal, I missed feeling,” He stopped and looked down, “alive,”  
Phil set the papers on the table and walked towards him, “I missed you too, and I’m sorry too,” cupping his face Phil learned in, pausing to allow Beanie to protest if needed. When he did not, Phil kissed him again. After several moments, Phil pulled back. “this is real,” he said incredulously.  
“I feel it too, I’ve never felt anything like this, more real. I don’t want to lose this, not ever.”  
“This isn’t just a hook-up to you, right?”  
“What the fuck? No. Of course not. If I believed in destiny, this would be it.”  
“Oh, thank god,” Phil kissed him again, running his hands through the curls like he had been dreaming of for weeks. “You are so damned pretty, as much as I enjoy you in a beanie, I enjoy these more,” Phil tugged on his hair. Beanie boy groaned  
“Blue,”  
“Phil,”  
“What?”  
“My name is Phil,” his face cracked into a smile.  
“Dan,”  
Phil smiled at him, “Dan,” Phil tested it out, “Much better than Beanie Guy,”  
“Beanie Guy,” he laughed. “What should we do now, Blue?”  
“I have read and heard your story. Let me tell you mine, Beanie guy,”  
“I’ll make coffee,”

And so, Blue and Beanie guy lived happily ever after.

**Author's Note:**

> Oneshots to end the year.  
> If you have a prompt, contact me: <https://www.tumblr.com/blog/septic84>


End file.
